This is an actual practice to begin a real conversation with what hurts / the painful part. You will see a sequence of questions to move through that you can do by yourself, right now. Before starting, I recommend reading When pain pays a visit, where I offer a new perspective on pain.
Begin with permission.
Before anything else, say this, out loud or inwardly: I ask permission to connect with this pain.
It sounds strange. Do it anyway. Something in the body responds to being asked rather than forced. If the answer is yes, continue following the steps. If the answer is no, respect that. Come back another time, or simply look at the part that isn't ready yet.
Get curious before you get analytical.
Find the pain. Not to fix it, just to see it.
Where exactly is it in the body? Describe it as precisely as you can: location, size, shape. What does it look like? What color, what texture, what temperature? How does it feel? Not your interpretation. The raw sensation.
Take your time here. You are not diagnosing. You are making contact.
Ask the question that changes everything.
What do you need?
Sometimes the answer is: to be heard, to be seen, to be acknowledged. Sometimes it is a word, an image, a memory. Sometimes it is something that surprises you. Let the answer be whatever it is. Don't correct it.
And then, follow it. Intuitively. Then give it that, from within yourself. You have more to offer than you think.
Bonus question, worth asking.
Is this pain mine?
Sometimes what we carry began in someone else: a parent, a sibling, a lineage we didn't choose. This is not about blame. It is about returning something that was not ours to begin with. If this question opens something for you, family constellation work can be a powerful place to go deeper.
Before you close, find the ease.
Somewhere in your body right now, there is a place that feels okay. Maybe your hands. Maybe your breath. Maybe just one small corner of your chest.
Rest your attention there for a moment.
Your nervous system needs to remember that safety exists. This is not denial of the pain. It is the whole picture.
Observe the painful part again to see if something changed.
Feel free to repeat this last step, or the entire sequence, as many times as feels right. But only one could be just enough. Wishing you good luck :)